Eyes Wide Open

I have traveled to Boston enough times at this point that I swear I could drive there with my eyes closed, in fact, Mando always has. That is up until this last trip.

Mando was wide awake the whole drive both going to and returning from Boston. This made for an interesting trip. 3hours each way, a lot of ground can be covered, literally and figuratively.

Mando began discussing when we would be staying in Boston next. He mentioned, "for 5 days."

I corrected him "Mando,  we will be staying for 15 days when you have your surgery. You will need to be in the ICU for 10 days and on the regular pediatric floor for 5 days. "

"I only heard about the 5 days. When is this happening?"

"It hasn't been decided. That is one of the reasons we are going to see pulmonary today, to have their opinion. It is possible that we are looking at the end of September?"

Mando Gasped as he heard this. His eyes widened and then filled with tears.

"But...But...But what..." he tried to speak but was too choked up to get the words out. He swallowed repeatedly. With all the effort he could muster he forced out  "BUT WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?"

A tear streamed down his cheek, and with that tear, my heart broke wide open.

Few things, if any, will ever reduce Mando to tears. One thing for certain is being kept from other children. The other thing is being separated from his family.

Pandora's box was open.

 For three hours the discussions continued in a manner not at all common for Mando, perhaps long overdue. If ever his sense of truth and honesty and justice were visible it was during these heart-wrenching conversations.Yet even for him, these topics delved deeper and were more profound than I have ever recalled. I momentarily felt as if I were meeting Mando for the first time. At least a side of him I have never known.

We were about 20 minutes outside of Boston and Mando announced to me that he thought it best that he stay homeschooled until after the winter break. He assumed he would be healed from the surgery by then but if not he would be willing to wait longer.

"I really would like to have all of this behind me. I would hate to miss so much school going to so many doctors appointments." Mando seemed content. He had worked through his angst and ended at a better place.

When we arrived at Boston Mando said "Thanks, Mom. I really enjoyed talking with you like that. We should do that more often."

We did...on the 3-hour drive back home.